With Gratitude

These are my full acknowledgements, shared with room for the memories, prayers, and personal words behind the shorter version in the book. To everyone who helped bring The Sakinah Model: Sacred Bonds, Secure Hearts into being, thank you.

The People Behind The Sakinah Model

Acknowledgements

Alhamdulillāhi Rabbil-‘Ālamīn.

All praise and gratitude belong to Allah, Lord of all creation.

This book began as an idea, grew through years of learning and clinical practice, and gradually became the work now held within these pages. None of it would have been possible without the guidance, mercy, strength, and opportunities Allah has granted me. He placed the desire to serve within my heart, opened doors through which I could learn, brought people into my life who encouraged and supported me, and sustained me through the many hours required to bring this work to completion.

I am deeply conscious that knowledge is an amanah. I ask Allah to accept whatever is beneficial in this book, forgive its shortcomings, place Barakah in its reach, and allow it to serve Muslim marriages and families for generations to come.

To my late father, Bashir Bello Omeiza, I remain profoundly grateful for the life, foundation, and legacy you gave me. Although you are no longer here to see this book completed, your place in my story remains secure. May Allah forgive you, illuminate your grave, multiply the reward of every good you planted in us, and grant you the highest place in Jannah. Āmīn.

To my mother, Hajia Kudirat Dawodu, thank you for your love, strength, prayers, sacrifices, and the many ways you have continued to stand by me. A mother’s contribution to the person her child becomes can rarely be captured fully in words. I pray that Allah rewards you abundantly, preserves you in goodness, and allows you to witness the beautiful fruits of everything you have invested in your children.

To my husband, AbdulGaniyu AbdulAleem, thank you for walking beside me through the many seasons of my life and work. Writing a book of this depth required time, mental space, emotional energy, and many hours of sustained concentration. I am grateful for your presence, your patience, and the place you hold within our family. May Allah continue to strengthen our home, deepen the good between us, and guide us towards all that pleases Him.

To my children, AbdulRahman, AbdulSalam, Rahma, and Salma, thank you for sharing your mother with this book.

You became accustomed to hearing, “Please, don’t disturb Mummy. Mummy is working.” You waited through the writing, the reading, the editing, the rewriting, and the many moments when my mind was still somewhere inside a chapter even after I had stepped away from my computer.

I know that every hour given to this book was also an hour taken from something else, often from time that could have belonged to you. You responded with patience, understanding, and the kind of love that allowed me to keep going.

My dear Salma, my mummy’s girl, you perhaps felt this sharing most of all. You naturally wanted to be close to me, yet you repeatedly found that the little time we had together also had to be shared with a manuscript that seemed always to need one more correction, one more paragraph, or one more hour. Too often, you heard that Mummy was busy. Thank you for waiting, for returning, for sitting close when you could, and for loving me through it all. I hope that one day, when you are old enough to understand what this work required, you will recognise that you and your siblings were also part of the reason I continued. I wanted to contribute towards a future in which more children can grow up in homes shaped by mercy, emotional safety, responsibility, faith, and love.

May Allah protect all four of you, guide your hearts, make you sources of goodness, and grant each of you homes filled with Sakinah when your own time comes.

To my siblings, Saidat, Ibrahim, Semira, Zuliakha, and Muhammed, thank you for being part of the family from which I come and the life that has shaped me. Our shared history, experiences, and bonds are woven into who I am. I pray that Allah continues to preserve the love between us, guide us, and keep our family united upon goodness.

To my brothers-in-law, Babatunde Idrisu and Qudus Ajibade Adeyemi, thank you for your support and goodwill.

I am especially grateful to Qudus Ajibade Adeyemi, who generously took the time to read the initial draft of this book and offer his feedback. Your willingness to engage seriously with the work, share your reflections, and help me see it through another reader’s eyes meant more to me than I may have adequately expressed at the time. Thank you for believing that the work was worth your time and attention. I truly appreciate you.

I also wish to acknowledge Shaykh Yasir Qadhi, whose scholarship and approach to engaging Islamic knowledge alongside the complex realities of contemporary Muslim life have been an important source of learning and reflection for me. His ability to speak to modern questions while drawing upon the depth of the Islamic tradition has influenced the way I think about communicating sacred principles within present-day contexts. May Allah reward him for the knowledge he continues to share and increase him in goodness.

To my dear friend and book coach, Roheemah Odusote, thank you for accompanying me through this process with generosity, insight, and sincere concern for the success of the book.

You gave advice when I needed direction, read the work with care, listened to my concerns, and helped me think through the many decisions that arise between writing a manuscript and preparing a book for the world. You also connected me with professionals who could support the editing and cover design stages, saving me from having to navigate every part of the publishing process alone.

Your support went beyond offering occasional suggestions. You invested your time, experience, relationships, and attention in helping me move this project forward. I am deeply grateful for your friendship, your belief in the book, and your willingness to help me find the right people at important moments. May Allah reward you generously and place Barakah in your own work and every life you continue to help shape.

To every member of staff at Mumtaz Mind and Wellness Studio and Mumtaz International School, thank you. The work I do is sustained by people who show up daily to serve clients, families, children, and the wider community. Your contribution allows our shared vision to move from ideas into meaningful service. I appreciate the roles you play, the responsibilities you carry, and the many ways your work supports the larger purpose behind both organisations.

I am particularly grateful to Abdulganiyu Karim, whose observations and encouragement awakened in me the vision for a premarital companion to The Sakinah Model. Through our conversations, I began to see more clearly the need for another book that would help people prepare for marriage before they encounter many of the difficulties addressed within these pages. Thank you for recognising that need and for helping to ignite what may, by Allah’s permission, become the next part of this work.

To the couples who have entrusted me with the most vulnerable, painful, and hopeful parts of their marriages, thank you.

You invited me into conversations that required courage. You allowed me to witness the pain of disconnection, the weight of betrayal, the longing to be understood, the struggle to rebuild trust, and the remarkable possibilities that emerge when two people become willing to face the truth and work towards change.

No couple’s private story has been reproduced as their individual story in this book. Yet the collective wisdom gained from years of sitting with couples lives throughout these pages. Your questions challenged me to think more deeply. Your struggles helped me recognise the gaps in the support available to Muslim families. Your courage showed me that repair is possible, that accountability can become a doorway, and that people can learn new ways of relating even after years of painful patterns.

Thank you for trusting me with your homes and your hearts. I pray that Allah grants healing, protection, clarity, and peace to each of you.

To the teachers, trainers, supervisors, clinicians, researchers, scholars, authors, and professional communities from whom I have learned, I am grateful. Every course, book, conversation, supervision session, clinical framework, correction, and challenging question contributed something to the development of my thinking. The Sakinah Model emerged from years of learning across psychology, couple therapy, trauma work, human behaviour, and Islamic thought. I honour the work of those whose knowledge made my own development possible.

I am especially grateful to Dr Rikza Pervez, who generously reviewed this book as an expert clinician and offered thoughtful, encouraging feedback. Thank you for bringing your clinical insight and care to these pages, and for taking the time to engage with the work so meaningfully. Your contribution meant a great deal to me. May Allah reward you abundantly and place Barakah in your work.

To the readers, reviewers, editors, designers, and professionals who have helped bring this book from manuscript to publication, thank you for your time, skill, and care. Your contributions to its language, clarity, and presentation have helped prepare it for the readers it was written to serve.

Finally, to every person who will read this book, reflect upon it, discuss it with a spouse, use it to support a couple, or bring its ideas into a home, thank you for receiving this work.

I wrote it with the hope that knowledge could become service. I wrote it because Muslim couples deserve support that understands both their psychological humanity and their spiritual commitments. I wrote it because the wellbeing of marriages affects children, families, communities, and generations still to come.

May Allah allow whatever is beneficial within these pages to reach those who need it. May He use this work to soften hearts, strengthen homes, restore dignity, support repair, and help Muslim marriages move towards Sakinah.

Ameen.